Watch Out, Kids Bite! Causes and Solutions from Daycare to Kindergarten

Biting is a common behavior that affects almost all parents and caregivers at some point, particularly during the toddler and preschool years. It can stem from various reasons, and understanding these reasons is crucial for developing effective solutions. At this stage of a child’s development, biting can be a natural form of exploration, but it’s important for us, as adults, to respond appropriately to promote positive social interactions and communication.

To understand and address biting in early childhood, various classifications and categories are often used. These systems are key to gaining deeper insights into the underlying causes of biting, allowing for tailored approaches based on age, individual characteristics, and the situation. Precise knowledge of the causes is essential, as it enables us to effectively and purposefully address this behavior, promoting the child’s healthy development and social integration.

Before we dive in, there are two golden rules that are essential for success:

• Patience and consistency are key to overcoming biting.
• Punishment is not effective and can even worsen the situation!

It’s very important to accurately assess the severity of the situation. If you feel that the problem is getting more serious, then don’t look for solutions on the internet! Instead, go see a doctor immediately.

Categorizing the Causes of Biting: Why Do Children Bite?

1. Biting Due to Physiological Causes

Teething: Young children often bite to relieve teething pain. Provide the child with appropriate teething toys that can safely relieve the discomfort. Cold teething toys can be particularly helpful, as the coldness helps to reduce swelling and sensitivity. Consider gently massaging the child’s gums with a clean finger or a small piece of gauze soaked in cold tea.

Exploration: Young children actively explore the world, which includes “tasting” objects (and sometimes people). It is important to provide the child with ample opportunities for safe exploration. Support their curiosity and learning desire with toys and activities that promote tactile and taste development, but within safe boundaries. When it comes to “tasting” people, calmly but firmly explain to the child why biting others is not safe or acceptable, and redirect their attention to appropriate objects or activities.

2. Biting Due to Emotional and Social Causes

Frustration: It is common for children who lack the verbal skills to express their emotions to resort to biting as a way to convey frustration or anger. Teach the child simple words and phrases to communicate their feelings, such as “I’m angry,” “I’m sad,” or “I’m tired.” Alternatively, provide alternatives to biting: Encourage the child to draw, play with clay, sing, or engage in other activities when feeling frustrated.

Attention-seeking: Some children use biting as a means of gaining attention. Ensure the child receives adequate attention: Spend quality time with the child, play with them, read to them, and demonstrate love and affection. Additionally, praise good behavior: When the child refrains from biting, offer specific praise and express pride. Consider teaching alternative attention-seeking methods, such as talking, singing, or playing.

Imitation: Children may imitate the behavior of their peers or adults, including biting. Be mindful of the child’s environment, and if possible, limit exposure to biting peers or adults. If this is not feasible, explain to the child that biting is not acceptable, emphasizing that it causes pain and is not tolerated. Be a role model yourself, demonstrating how to express emotions verbally and through non-aggressive means.

3. Biting Due to Communication Difficulties

Communication barriers: Children who lack verbal communication skills may resort to biting to express their needs or feelings. Help the child learn to communicate verbally: Teach them simple words and phrases to express their needs and feelings, and consider using sign language or pictures as well. These can assist the child in communicating if they are not yet able to speak. Always be patient and understanding.

Territorial defense: Some children bite to protect their space or toys. Teach the child the importance of sharing: Explain that it is important to share toys and spaces with others. Provide the child with their own space: Ensure they have a place where they can be alone and undisturbed.

4. Learning and Experimentation Phase

Understanding social boundaries: Children experiment with behavioral boundaries, including socially acceptable and unacceptable forms of conduct. Teach the child that biting is not acceptable: Explain that it causes pain and is not tolerated. Set a good example: Demonstrate how to treat others with kindness and respect. It is crucial to praise good behavior: When the child refrains from biting, offer specific praise and express pride.

Does Your Child Bite at Daycare? Don’t Worry, You’re Not Alone! (Ages 0-3)

If your little one is prone to biting in a daycare setting, don’t panic! It’s quite common and doesn’t necessarily indicate a serious problem. Toddlers bite for various reasons, and daycare circumstances can sometimes exacerbate the issue.

In the previous chapter, we explored the different general causes of biting and their management strategies in detail. Here, we’ll focus on the specific factors that a daycare environment can introduce and how to adapt to these challenges.

Such special environments include a lot of noise, coming and going, which they might not have encountered at home in such doses, or the opposite situation, where they don’t receive enough stimulation, start to get bored, and then there’s the ever-present specter of separation anxiety.

As a parent, it’s important that you stay open and supportive in communication and actively participate in developing solutions. Listen to the observations and suggestions of the daycare workers, as they witness your child’s behavior and interactions on a daily basis.

What to expect from daycare staff

• Observation: Observe the child to identify the underlying reasons for biting.
• Prevention: Create a calm and stimulating environment for children and teach them alternative conflict resolution methods.
• Intervention: If biting occurs, remain calm and redirect the child’s attention. Discuss the consequences of biting with the child and praise them when they refrain from biting.
• Communication: Communicate with parents about biting incidents and collaborate on a plan to address the issue.
• Involving a specialist: If biting problems persist, involve a specialist (e.g., psychologist) for diagnosis and management.

Your child is biting in kindergarten! Is the situation easier or harder? (Ages 3-6)

When biting incidents occur in kindergarten, handling the situation requires a slightly different approach than in daycare. Children of preschool age already possess more advanced communication and social skills, allowing them to better understand and express their feelings and needs. Thanks to this, although biting remains a concern, it’s often easier to identify and address the root of the problem. Preschoolers may respond more effectively to conflict resolution strategies and positive reinforcement, making the management of such situations smoother than with younger children.

Cooperating with Kindergarten Staff

• Talk to the kindergarten staff about the biting incidents and work together to develop a plan to solve the problem.
• Share your child’s temperament and needs with the kindergarten staff so they can better understand their behavior.
• Be open to involving a specialist if necessary. At the preschool age, it might be more justified to seek the help of a psychologist, as the underlying reasons can be deeper and may not be manageable with general home and kindergarten therapies alone.

What You Can Do

• Ensure physical activity: Provide ample opportunities for physical activity to help your child release tension and frustration.
• Create a calm and secure home environment: Reduce stress and anxiety at home, as these factors can worsen biting problems.
• Be patient and consistent: Overcoming biting takes time. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t see immediate results.