Real Moms’ Strategies to Reduce Kids’ Screen Time – Readers’ Letters

In this blog, I won’t go into the negative effects of excessive screen time in detail, as I’ve already done that in another blog, and everyone knows it’s harmful, even those who have a guilty conscience about it, who otherwise handle this issue loosely. So, we parents are aware that we shouldn’t do this, but we may not know how to do it with as little pain as possible. Because for those little ones who have already become addicted, it won’t be easy.

So now I would like to speak to those parents who have recognized the problem and want to do something about it. But also to those who would like to prevent trouble.

We turned to our favorite tool again, which is none other than reader letters, because these bring real life to us, in addition to or beyond scientific evaluations. If it worked for them, it can help others too.

But before we get into it, let’s talk about what “a lot” is.

How Much Screen Time Is Too Much For Children?

In this debate, there is a significant divide between experts and parents, with opinions ranging from total prohibition to liberal viewpoints. Like other areas of life, extremes can be found here as well. Every child is different, and their needs vary. As parents, it’s our responsibility to recognize these needs. Some children can handle screen time better, can turn off devices when asked, and are less prone to developing dependencies. These children also naturally seek out traditional play and outdoor activities. However, there are children who can become completely addicted, in which case, a more restrictive approach is necessary.

The content children are exposed to also matters. Educational videos and apps, when not overused, can contribute positively to a child’s development. Using these together with our children helps maintain personal connections and allows us to assist them. An example of this is language learning for young children. The picture dictionary program I developed was created with these ideas in mind. It relies somewhat on children’s reactions to screens. Using cheerful, fairy-tale images and children’s voices, it helps them learn foreign words more effectively. Available in 12 languages, it offers a wide range of language learning opportunities. Give it a try: https://pixikidzone.com/pixilearn-online-picture-dictionary/

Another factor to consider when determining screen time is the child’s age. As a parent of multiple children, I fully agree with the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendations because they provide a foundation we can build on. Let’s be honest, we wouldn’t be able to establish such guidelines on our own because we lack the tools to determine the amount of screen time that won’t cause mental issues for our children. Without this, we might easily veer towards either total prohibition or total allowance. Neither is good!

Now, let’s look at what the AAP recommends, and then we’ll move on to reader letters 😊

• 0-18 months: Avoid screen time except for video chatting, which can help strengthen family relationships.
• 18-24 months: If screen time is allowed, choose high-quality programs and watch them together to help the child understand what they are seeing.
• 2-5 years: Limit daily screen time to one hour, focusing on high-quality content.
• 6 years and older: Set consistent time limits to ensure adequate sleep, physical activity, and other activities outside of screen time.

Reader Letters – Parents Share Solutions for Reducing Screen Time

We love reader letters because they showcase real-life experiences and complement the scientific discussions on the subject. We often ask our readers to share their experiences with us, and this topic is no exception. We want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who wrote to us 😊

Some contributors preferred to remain anonymous but were happy to share their opinions. In these cases, no names will be mentioned. We apologize in advance for this!

In some instances, for the sake of readability, we corrected errors and rephrased words, but always with the sender’s knowledge and permission. Naturally, these changes did not alter the content of the letters in any way 😊

“Emilia – Florence | Our little boy is over 4 years old. My husband and I work a lot, and sometimes we have to turn on the TV for him so I can do the housework in the afternoons after kindergarten. But we don’t overdo it, and we spend a lot of time at the playground. There have been times when he threw a tantrum when we turned off the TV. We’ve tried many solutions, but my husband found the answer 😊 He brought home a cable from work that looks just like the TV cable, but we made bite marks on it. When we don’t want to turn the TV back on, we simply switch the cable to the chewed one and say that a little mouse gnawed on it 😊 It has worked so far. 😊”

“Yuki – Kyoto | I found a solution, though I didn’t know about it initially, but a friend told me that YouTube Kids has a screen time timer. Before, my child watched all sorts of things, but we agreed that he would only watch YouTube Kids, and he accepted that. At first, he cried when it turned off by itself, but we immediately started playing something as soon as the tablet turned off, which eased the problem a bit. We’ve gotten so used to it that when the 20-minute limit is up and the ending screen appears, he comes over and hands me the tablet, waiting to play. So now we’ve stabilized 😊”

“Freya – Bergen | When my first child was little, we didn’t pay much attention to screen time. He watched cartoons or we played together as it happened. I wasn’t very knowledgeable about this topic back then. But as he grew, he became more and more fixated on the TV, so I read up on it and consulted the kindergarten psychologist, who recommended a drastic ban. We tried it at home, and it really disrupted our lives because we were used to doing necessary chores while he watched cartoons. It took a week for everyone to adjust. The first few days were filled with tantrums, then came the bargaining, but we held firm. After a week, I swear, it was like he had changed. He started playing again, often by himself. We had many more outdoor activities. I recommend this to everyone; it’s really worth it.”

“Many people told us that if we want to reduce our child’s use of tablets and TV, we parents should also stop using laptops and phones. My husband and I both work intellectual jobs where laptops and phones are indispensable. Often, we have to answer messages in the afternoon as well. And now many people might think otherwise, but what can I do? Honestly, my job and my family’s livelihood depend on whether I answer the foreign partner’s message or not. It’s a vicious cycle. So, we have 1-2 hours of cartoon watching at home. But I don’t see any major addiction.”

“Léa – Marseille | Unfortunately, our child got really hooked. I know we were at fault. I felt a lot of guilt about it. His father didn’t worry as much, but I didn’t let it go. I went to a child psychologist who recommended a complete withdrawal for a few weeks. I followed the advice, and it was terrible. Tantrums and sulking. But after about two weeks, he came to me saying he was bored and wanted to play with me (before, he didn’t allow it). I was so happy 😊 I gladly played with him. This happened a year ago. Since I don’t want to completely alienate him from digital devices, as we live in this world, we made a compromise. Together, we selected safe and educational games, and he plays them for 20 minutes twice a day. He turns it off himself and brings me the tablet. It’s so cute 😊 We can cooperate very well now.”

“Music was the solution for us. I also banned them from watching TV. I have two daughters, and it was hard to watch them stare blankly at the screen. Initially, there was no problem, but then it became an issue. At first, I allowed it, though not too much, but it was very convenient because I could get things done at home and even have a word with my husband without someone always interrupting 😊 Then a friend suggested music, either for dancing and jumping around or just as background noise. After the ban, music saved us. Give it a try.”

“Elif – Istanbul | We somehow never had a problem with this. I was never strict with them. The older one just started school, and the younger one is still in private kindergarten. Every day there is 1-2 hours of cartoons and TV, but everything goes according to routine. The school-goer is doing well, and the little one has no issues either, no tantrums when it’s bedtime and I turn off the TV. She accepts it. Everywhere I read that it’s extremely harmful, but I don’t really see any major issues.”

“Isabella – Rio de Janeiro | I am not in favor of a total ban, although many in my circle suggested it. I can’t bring myself to be harsh with my children. I prefer to organize other activities so they don’t have time for screens 🙂 We spend a lot of time outside, hiking, playing at the park. I take them to train stations just to watch the trains. There are thousands of such activities. When the weather doesn’t permit, I always buy new painting sets, colored pencils, clay shapes. If they don’t join in, I make a beautiful creation myself, a nice painting (at least what they consider nice, because I’m not an artist, but my children are always enchanted by them) and show it to them, and then they come and join in. I think this is the way to go.”

“At home, we keep a strict schedule! I believe this is the key to everything. Everyone knows what comes next and how much screen time is allowed. This also applies to my husband, of course 😀 Outside of screen time, the kids never ask for the tablet or TV because they know they won’t get it. Peace reigns at home.”

“I make deals with my child 😊 If they do this or that, they get 10-20 minutes of cartoons or games on the tablet. This includes tidying up, playing alone, etc. Sometimes they get so engrossed in their solo play that they forget about the tablet 😊”

“Klara – Stockholm | It’s not just about whether they watch a screen, but what they watch. I don’t think the device usage is as harmful as it’s made out to be. If we allow them to watch slow, less stimulating shows. We’re doing just fine this way. Naturally, we don’t let them watch tablets all day, and when we do, we watch together. We also spend a lot of time outside. The balance is great. I don’t think we should completely ban them.”

“Hana – Prague: I’ll be honest; we really messed up, my husband and I together. Before our son was born, we both worked a lot and lived a fast-paced life. After he was born, we couldn’t let go of our old lifestyle, and as months and years passed, we continued the same way. I would sit him in front of the TV and go make calls and work. Then one day, I saw how lonely he looked sitting in front of the TV. It hit me almost overnight that this was REALLY not okay. He was 2.5 years old when I decided we needed to change. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, I started adding activities into our lives. We went on more hikes and attended outdoor children’s programs. I didn’t want a drastic change to make him suffer. Over 2-3 months, I created a balance that worked for everyone. My son changed significantly and no longer craved TV as much. He would get up on his own and come to me to do something together. Recognizing the problem is very important; once you have that, everything will be fine!”**

“Eleni – Athens | My daughter just turned 4. Before, we did a lot of crafts, painting, drawing, clay modeling, storytelling, etc. These activities kept her away from the TV and tablet. Now she sometimes wants more substantial activities. We’ve enrolled in a local singing class and swimming lessons. The key is that I now take her to more community activities. We get along perfectly fine without TV or tablets. Sometimes we watch longer cartoons or animated films together. Often, even dad joins in. I think with a little attention, it’s easy to keep them away from these devices.”

“At home, we agreed on when and how much TV our child can watch. We allow YouTube Kids for half an hour a day. This period is challenging because she’s entered the defiant stage. At first, when there were tantrums, I pulled out the cables, but she learned to plug them back in 😊 So dad solved it by putting the TV on a separate circuit breaker, and I just turn it off if she doesn’t cooperate 😊 Of course, there are still tantrums, but fewer. After 10 minutes, we start playing something together. 🥰”

“Maria – Lisbon | My son was born 4 years ago, and we managed well, taking many stroller walks, then moving on to playgrounds as he grew more capable. But a year ago, the twins were born, two girls. I admit, I often sat my son in front of the TV while I had to deal with the twins. My husband works a lot, so I’m often alone with the kids. So the boy, unfortunately, got really hooked. I realized what I had done to him a year later. Fortunately, he now goes to kindergarten, so he spends less time in front of the screen. I also weaned him off afternoon TV watching gradually. I involved him in activities with the twins, bought him audiobooks. Audiobooks are great because he can play while listening, even on his own. He happily helps me with everything now. It was a very challenging period, but we’re getting used to it, and he no longer misses TV. Good luck to everyone facing similar problems 😊”