Life with a 3-Year-Old – Tiny Tyrant, Big Love

Our second child has also turned three! She’ll be 4 soon, but that’s why I can share what happened to us. In this article, I’ve gathered my own experiences, along with the stories of my family and friends, and of course the wisdom of the professional literature, to give you a comprehensive overview of the fascinating but sometimes challenging world of three-year-olds. 😊

Since Léna is our second child, alongside a wonderful 8-year-old boy, this article may approach the age of three from a slightly different perspective. Raising one child and two children is not the same, because one never sleeps, one is always mischievous, one always fights with the other, and I could go on forever. But I’ll try to be objective. 😊

What’s New in a 3-Year-Old Compared to a 2-Year-Old?

The age of three is a real milestone in the development of little ones, full of amazing changes in speech, social skills, independence, motor skills and emotions. The desire for social interaction increases, and cooperation and sharing during play come to the fore. Their vocabulary suddenly grows immensely, and instead of simple sentences, more complex structures and stories also appear. They are also most receptive to language learning at this time, for example in terms of words and expressions. You might also want to check out my own developed picture dictionary if you have such aspirations: PixiLearn Online Picture Dictionary

The child, who thinks she’s already big 😊, is becoming more and more self-aware and proudly proclaims his independence: “I want to do it!”. And if you don’t let her, you’re in trouble! Let him do it, even if you know what’s going to happen 😊

Thanks to the development of fine motor skills, drawing and using building blocks becomes more and more skillful. Gross motor coordination also improves, running and jumping are more confident, and you don’t have to save his life on the playground as often 😊. The expression of emotions also becomes more nuanced, and the toddler learns to manage his emotions and express them positively.

Big Love

Usually, articles like this focus on the negatives and challenges, and this one will be no different 😊, because that’s what this age is all about. However, before I list the challenges, I would like to talk about the love aspect, because this is where a special bond will form between you and your son or daughter that will be defining throughout your lives.

This bond that we build at this age provides a fundamental sense of security and love that shapes our child’s emotional development. Despite the daily struggles and obstacles – whether it’s tantrums, stubbornness, or the endless series of “whys” – these moments create exceptional intimacy and mutual understanding.

Playing with our child, laughing sincerely, reading together, or simply spending time in nature not only create memories, but also a lifelong bond. This bond makes it easier to handle challenges and feel that every effort is worth it, despite the difficulties.

Your child will climb into your lap, wrap their little arms around you, and whisper “I love you” in your ear. It may sound cheesy now, but that’s how it will happen. Don’t cry in front of your child, because they won’t be able to handle it. 😊

Tiny Tyrant

No-ology: The Science of Denial

When your child enters the infamous age of three, you realize that the word “no” will become your new favorite. This age is a kind of mini-exploration of their personality, where “no” is a means of expressing their independence. They test the boundaries with it, trying to see how independent they can be.

The word “no” is often used to attract attention as well. If they don’t get the attention they seek, they pull out the “no” to assert their will.

Sometimes there is simply a misunderstanding or fear behind the “no”. Not every “no” is a “no”, pay attention!

Let’s be patient with them, praise them if they do something despite saying “no.” Make a deal with them, it’s surprisingly effective to negotiate with children. Offer them something in return for their cooperation.

The “Whys” Are Coming

When our three-year-old starts the endless series of “whys”, it not only tests our patience, but it’s actually a wonderful thing. At this age, little ones are already really curious about the world, they are constantly learning, and they are also building relationships with us, while testing their own little independence.

So when the “why” avalanche comes, let’s be patient and answer them directly, but simply, so they understand what we’re saying. Encourage them not to stop asking questions, because that’s how they learn the most. In fact, we can also ask back questions to get their little brains going even more, and play games that generate even more “whys”. This helps them with their thinking and problem solving as well. In short, “why” is not an enemy, but a super tool in the hands of little ones.

I Want to Do It Myself

Don’t worry, the “I want to do it myself!” phase will also start, which is when we know it’s time for independence. At this age, little ones are starting to discover themselves and how much they can be their own masters. This, along with their impact on self-confidence, problem solving and decision making, is an important step towards adulthood.

In practice, this means they will put on their Santa Claus t-shirt in the summer, or in Léna’s case, she wants to wear a princess dress under her pajamas. That’s okay!

Let them try to eat their breakfast themselves, even if we know what’s going to happen. Let them decide what toy they want to play with, or give them small but important tasks around the house, like putting away toys or watering the flowers.

This kind of independence not only helps children feel important and capable, but also prepares them for the bigger challenges they will face later in life. Learning how to solve problems, make decisions, and trust themselves are essential skills that they will use throughout their lives. So while they may test our patience at times, remember that every “I want to do it myself!” is a step towards our child’s independence.

On this topic, you may find it helpful to read my previous article here about tantrums and how to deal with them: Tantrum-STOP! Humor as a Superpower: a Parental Strategy Against Tantrums

In the end, we need to be in control

There is one thing in common with all the topics discussed so far. And that is balance. Give them opportunities to decide, let them try and fail, but don’t forget that we need to show them the way in the end. If we always let them dictate the pace, they will soon get over our heads, which is the other side of the horse and just as harmful as not letting them do anything. So while we trust them and praise their independent successes, let’s stay the captains who steer the ship, even if we let them near the helm sometimes.